Hi iguanamountain -

This is a review for Part 3 of

FORUM

The Lodestar Contest  (13+) Looking for a guiding light. May 2024 round is open, looking for short stories. #2130938 by Satuawany

Please keep in mind these are just my opinions and they carry only the weight you give them!

Overall Impression: Nice use of the prompt and a totally unexpected ending!

Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:

1. In this section - I'd have to be somewhere else to send back - send back what?

2. In this section - He's been traveled to the test destination - you may want to eliminate "been".

3. In this section - He walked in a circle around Preston. " - is this part of his speech?

4. In this section - then shocked that that the molded depression - you may want to eliminate the extra "that".

5. In this section - Does the Princess Tamesha have a home - who is Tamesha?

Readability: An entertaining read.

Suggestions: He had a phone, why didn't he call to find out if he could bring the Princess back with him?

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .