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Review #4614569
Viewing a review of:
 HOPE Open in new Window. [E]
For those who felt love in this caliber
by KageMakaveli Author Icon
Review of HOPE  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (2.5)
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Hallo!
This one showed up on 'random reads'.

My first impression is - you've classified it as poetry, but the layout looks like prose. I think you need to divide it into lines and verses, for your words to flow more smoothly and put your meaning across.

This definitely has potential, there are a lot of feelings packed in there, and some imagery. I think you want to convey a powerful, inspiring message, and it is somewhere in there.

It's just that, without the appropriate layout, it becomes a bit incomprehensible. I didn't know where to pause in certain phrases and couldn't understand what you were trying to convey.

If you'd like me to review this again once you've worked on it a bit more, do let me know.

A tiny typo:
bounty's - I think you mean 'bounties'


Write On!


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