Hallo! This one showed up on Random Reads and I'm glad it did! I enjoyed the tale thoroughly! You've captured all the emotions wonderfully well, and the conversational tone makes me feel like I'm sitting with you and you're telling me what happened. The dialogues and descriptions are great, and the ending is !
Suggestions:
1. The photo rather gives away what the solution is ... if that's deliberate it is fine, otherwise I'd suggest moving it so that it appears when the doggie appears.
2. Why have you left the genre at 'other'? This piece needs to be found and read!
3. Who is Kelly? Readers want to know!
4. Does the word 'Navy' always have a capital 'N'? If so, you need to change it a couple of times.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:57pm on Nov 04, 2024 via server WEBX1.