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Review #4616462
Viewing a review of:
 The Corridor Open in new Window. [13+]
futuristic world where it is every man for himself
by dblameck (David) Author Icon
Review of The Corridor  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]

Reviewed by a member of "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


Hallo!
I saw your portfolio in the "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window. forum and came over.

What a chilling story. The descriptions are vivid and you had my attention throughout. Since it had a feel of danger, the ending was only somewhat surprising. Maybe a further twist-within-a-twist would add to the interest ...?

A few small points:
1. There's once where you say 'me' instead of 'him'.
2. In one of the sentences, you repeat the word 'here'.
3. Where you say 'why didn't he hear' -- would you rather say 'why hadn't he heard'?

Happy WdC Anniversary!
Write On!

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