Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Hello Vaishali This is a good first chapter. The ending gives enough information of things to come, but stays open so that I want to read on. I saw in your portfolio header that English is not your first language, so I am going to point out a few areas where you have spelling and grammar to fix. Anne on her way saw Olivia sitting beside the window dumbly. [On her way, Anne saw Olivia sitting dumbly beside the window.] he asked[,] "Would you like to join us? Athora's map[,]" he whispered. Jack had seen his teacher hiding the map[no space here] . The extra space at the end of sentences before the period happens several times in the whole piece. You need to take those spaces out. "Shh..."and the[y] both paused. "Someone may eavesdrop [on] us. The feeling of awe acquired her bringing butterflies in her stomach . The feeling of awe brought felt like butterflies in her stomach. As you see, there are a few areas that can use a little clean up. It reads like a fun adventure starting off. I hope you enjoy writing it and will keep going.
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