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Review #4650115
Viewing a review of:
 Life after Loss Open in new Window. [E]
A musing on grief and finding joy in the memories
by My Little Musings Author Icon
Review of Life after Loss  Open in new Window.
Review by Dave Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Greetings, My Little Musings Author IconMail Icon!

Welcome to our international inspirational writing community. The following observations are offered in the spirit of friendly hospitality and constructive support, but they are nothing more than one man's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth.

TITLE:

Like the names of your children, a title gives your brainchild a specific identity. It is also a critical element of your composition, because it is the portal through which a prospective reader must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. It sets the tone and prepares the reader for what is to come. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

The title applied to this composition appeals to that browser's sense of compassion with its reference to "Loss."

FORM & STRUCTURE:

Poetry weaves an intricate web of aesthetic effects with threads of lyrical language, vibrant imagery and organizational form. As poets, we select a pattern for any particular composition based on the contributions the specific characteristics of that form will make toward enhancing the shades and nuances of meaning.

Dividing the composition into several stanzas helps to control the pace and sharpen the focus on each impression before moving along to the next.

The consistent pattern of quatrains (four line stanzas) projects a tone of orderly contemplation.

Although the lengths are not consistent, the pattern of alternating relatively longer and shorter lines helps to develop a somber rhythm to reinforce the impression of a grieving mate.

POETIC TECHNIQUE:

There are several problems that arise when using rhymes, end-rhymes in particular. The first is that rhymes tend to draw attention to themselves and may overshadow the message of the poem. Also, the writer may torture the diction or grammatical structure to make the line fit the established rhyme scheme. Another danger is writing a line that fulfills the formal rhyming requirement but fails to meet the commitment of expressing a heartfelt belief. The language in this poem seems a bit twisted in some places.

The enjambment technique ( https://literarydevices.net/enjambment/ ) keeps the narrative flowing at a very nice pace.

The synesthesia technique ( https://literarydevices.net/synesthesia/ ), with "colours sing" in the third stanza adds another level of sensory perception to strengthen your narrator's connection with your audience.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

With all due respect to Dr. Albert Einstein, I have formulated my own theory of relativity: No matter how accomplished someone is, there is always room for improvement; no matter how new someone is to a particular process, there are always others out there who could use your help with a little fresh perspective. We all started from the same point. A prima ballerina began her journey by taking a few faltering baby steps, falling down, getting up, and trying again. Even at the pinnacle of her career, she still practices tirelessly to continue honing her craft.

You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be.

If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting with a few like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place Open in new Window. group.

Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate the universe known as Writing.Com!

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place Open in new Window.
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