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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4659672
Review #4659672
Viewing a review of:
Gervic's Poetic Explorations Open in new Window. [13+]
A book to house all my Poetic Explorations
by GERVIC Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "WordsOpen in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Flowerr**Delight*Happy Anniversary Month Gervic! Thanks for all you be and do to make WDC Shine! *Star* I am happy to review to celebrate you.


*Delight* The active imagery in your first lines drew me to read on. I could really see the poet and the personification of the pen is cool. I thought the idea of "dance" and "prance" was delightful and fun. The simple title fits the poem as your next verses explain what words can do in a positive and negative way and how important it is to pick the right ones in communication. *Thumbsup*

*Penb* The lines flow well with a consistent rhyme scheme but some lines are longer than others. The only ones that pulled me out of the flow were in Verse 2 line 4 and verse 3 line 2. I think In verse too you can drop the cumbersome "but sometimes" and just say "Or make them feel..." for smoother read.

*Quill* In verse 3 "Some may see it worthy but for others may find it tactless" The word "for" is not needed. I wondered about making the statement direct instead of using "may". As is "Some see it worthy and others find it tactless." It tightens up the line too. *Wink* I do see that the use of the "may and might" tense is consistent in the verse though. *Smile* Still that line could be shortened. Maybe a comma after "worthy" to replace "but for".

In line 1 verse 3 "can not" should be "cannot".

*Penv* Ending in a query is evocative and appeals to the reader to form an opinion. It is a good question and I would say it so depends on the situation. *Wink* Standing up for self care is important but trying to control and not mind our own business is another consideration. *Smile*

*Star* Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem that has a vibe of the wise!


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window.*CakeP*


eyestar at "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window. and "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]Open in new Window.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/29/2022 @ 11:07am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4659672