Hello, I'm SpookyBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E) Use the music provided to inspire your writing! #2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Billy's getting a new car with a lot of fancy features, but sometimes, new isn't better.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked Sadie. She fit like an old glove. Good characterization and good character voice.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited in Billy's POV. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story toward the end.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses. I can get a good visual sense of the setting, but as a reader, you can put me in the moment with a few strategic sentences that tap into touch and smell. What does the new car smell like. How does Sadie feel? What's the emotional reaction to that?

SETTING

TIME: the future
PLACE: dystopian desert

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Billy

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's excited to get something new, and doesn't realize what he might be missing.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.