Not sure if you're looking for technical feedback or simply opinions on the actual content, so I'll give a little bit of both.

Technical feedback:

I would cut out the first two paragraphs and the last paragraph entirely.

In regards to the first paragraph, I understand your thought process behind introducing yourself and trying to add dramatic effect, but you're aiming to write a provocative essay, not make a social media / blog post. From the basic context and framing, I don't think your readers would mistake this for a peer-reviewed paper or something exceptionally formal, and your opinions and observations throughout the piece are largely coherent and understandable, so I don't see any reason for a disclaimer about your age or level of expertise.

A similar issue with the second paragraph. It essentially serves as an apology and/or justification for the first paragraph. Again, I understand your thought process, but you're posting what's essentially an opinion piece, so be unapologetic of your opinions! I'm in my early 20s myself, and sometimes write while having a drink or two, there's no shame in it or reason to explain it to your readers. If you phrase something weirdly or incorrectly, no problem! That's what the review process is for!

Same thing with the last paragraph, you get the point by now.

The third paragraph would make a much more direct and effective opening paragraph: immediately introducing the topic of your essay, and posing the central thesis, while asking your readers a question to get them in the proper state of mind. Good job here! Similarly, the second-to-last paragraph makes a much better, more poignant, and more assured closer.

I won't nitpick at specific sentence structure, but overall, try to write more directly and succinctly. When you write a piece like this, I think it's best to launch straight into your ideas, rather than preceding your arguments/statements with redundant sentences that inform the reader your about to do so. Assume that your readers are as smart as you are. Even if it's not the case, they'll appreciate being given the benefit of the doubt.

For instance, you could probably get rid of sentences like "in the next paragraph I'll explore the answer of yes." The next sentence (Inherent is the key word when answering yes) does a fine job on its own of establishing that the 'yes' option is the one you're discussing here.

Same thing with the next section. Instead of breaking the flow of your thoughts with "To those who answered no, see below." and then another redundant sentence "Does your life have inherent value? No." you would do better by just starting with "To those who are averse..." and assume that the reader is smart enough to understand that with a new paragraph and shift in address ("to those") signifies you're now discussing the other option.

My personal opinion on the ideas:

The idea of 'inherent value' makes little sense to me. It seems to me that value itself is a concept that is inherently subjective. Value is a measure used to assign worth to something. Therefore, The idea of value is entirely dependent on the person or group doing the assigning. "Inherent Value" seems to be a contradiction of terms. Value doesn't (and cannot) exist in a vacuum. Of course, this leads into a very deep and complicated discussion about ontology and epistemology which I'm sure more seasoned philosophers than us would have a field day with. You address this at length in your essay, when you talk about people being averse to the word "inherent."

And you're right, a lack of inherent value is not to say that life doesn't have value at all. It's simply subjective value which in my amateur estimation is the only kind of value there is. I think you agree with this when you say "It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in the word 'inherent.' What matters is if you believe in the phrase 'I value myself.'" This is an extremely insightful, and much more interesting question than that of objective meaning or value.

Really it's one of the ultimate questions of existence: why should we value ourselves, or other people? Without some kind of spiritual or moral foundation (and by "foundation" I don't just mean a god or a creator intelligent higher power), it can be a very difficult question to answer.










My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .