*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4674780
Review #4674780
Viewing a review of:
  "To Dad "  [E]
Tribute to my father
by BEAR
Review of "To Dad "  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hallo!
What a lovely tribute to a great man!

The title, brief description and genres work for the poem. Maybe you could add 'Parenting' as a further genre.

I like the rhyme scheme and verse structure. You've brought out various aspects of a good man, a hero to you. The emotions are well evoked. As you've mentioned, anyone who feels this way about their Dad can relate to your poem.

SUGGESTIONS:
1. WritingML - font, size, line-space, center.
2. First verse, second line: 'Dad's' doesn't need an apostrophe, since it is plural.
3. The verse starting 'And 45' confused me a bit. Do you mean that as a father, you look to the advice your Dad once gave you while raising your own children? I'm not quite sure how to interpret that verse.
4. In the verse about having a way with words, you suddenly speak in second person. While this is fine, I did wonder if sticking to it from a son's point of view would make it more powerful.

Thank you for sharing tis!
- Sonali

"*Bee*October 2022 Reviews"  
"COMPLETED - Zombie Hair Pasta"   (Black Case Review)

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/23/2022 @ 10:00am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4674780