Greetings Naomi ,  Welcome to Writing.com! I was pleased to read  "Trip To Pescador Island"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.

   This review too is being offered as part of the first WDC Superpower Reviewers Portfolio Raid Review of 2023!    

January 7, 2023

  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
With an incredibly enchanting back drop of the great Pacific Ocean, and tropical isles and a tone of love and respect, the story of Naomi and her brother's big adventure with Papa is a tale of heritage, legacy and the power of parenting with wisdom and foresight. In the 21st century with so much disconnect in the modern family, how one instills courage, boldness and trust in children is beautifully laid out in a story that is languid in its pace but stunning in its impact.
 
  THEME
 
Blessed are those who learn to trust. Doubly blessed are those who learn to walk through this life with the greatest wisdom possible, to know who, what and how much to trust, and without fear. In one brilliant moment a story carries the reader into a defining moment of staying calm, focused and fearless in the storm. There is a lesson within a lesson as the patriarch of the family navigates with simple skill a treacherous moment on a troubled sea.

  STRUCTURE
 
The story is told in the first person, past tense, with a good balance of "showing" the action and narrative. The dialogue is quick, enlightening and fun to read.
 
  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“We all started paddling the boat. The boat was running fast to our destination. The wide blue ocean, the vast high skies with white clouds, the very pleasant morning when the sun was about to shine, the calmness of the sea, the kingfisher taking a quick splash catching her food, it was our very own paradise. Since childhood I always stated that nothing compares [with] the beauty of the sea .”

In a few words the trip to the island takes on a flash of color, contrast and the work of nature. There is something about giant bodies of water that draw the souls of mankind to wonder who we are in all of this vastness. But only those who have a firm trust in God and those who affirm us in that trust, enjoy the full scope of what is being communicated to us through all of creation.
 
  SUGGESTIONS
 
If you were to do a rewrite of this story, there are just a few edits that are needed in punctuation and sentence structure to make your piece perfect.

For instance:
"We said goodbye to Mama .She placed her right hand in on our foreheads [ , ] as a blessing.

I would suggest changing the word "in" with the word "on," in the above sentence. Also, I believe there should be a comma between the words "foreheads" and "as."


Other than a few other edits like the one above, I would not suggest any changes to your charming story.


  IN SUMMARY
 
"Trip To Pescador Island"  is a heart warming lesson in how trust, courage, joy of living and casting your cares on Jesus are imparted to our children.
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

~Kenword~ 
 




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