Ugh... I'm sorry. I thought we weren't supposed to write about non-consensual... Never mind. I used the "random read and review" button to find this. Should've known better.
You nailed the horror alright. But the ending doesn't feel like enough, because the vampire is still at large and now the wickedness is only reproduced. I expected a battle, to clear our heads and provide closure. But perhaps adopting the baby will stop the vampire from attacking women? But you couldn't say that about real life sex offenders. And please don't capitalize "he" - it's an insult to spiritual people. Italicize, bold, anything but uppercase. Also, if Damien is really Jordan's baby, how did it turn into a...?? And why didn't the other victims become...?? Idk... I'm afraid the story is built on a very weak premise and is too much for shock value rather than anything deeper. Assuming you could have fleshed it out as you wished (it was probably a contest entry, though) the greater themes of redemption and family could have been developed in a more wholesome and satisfying way, rather than such a brief and grimy tale.

Something that really gives me the creeps about my finding this story randomly, is that I have a story I'm developing about a pale villain with black hair named Damien Blackstone. The story in my portfolio (Virus) is only one brief boiling down of a multitude of possibilities I'm considering. But someone here just told me privately that my story is a soulless horror and will attract "goths and ghouls." I'm beginning to think he was right!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .