Interesting tale, though the perspective shift jarred me a lot. It felt like if another writer besides you did the 3rd-person shift.

First of all, I like the overall concept - a human in the modern world gets spirited away to serve the wishes of a dragon as an agent against rival Fey lords. The very idea of having a deuteragonist as distinct as a dragon - or perhaps, a Fey lord that assumes that visage because of what it entails - challenges established notions. Why would the dragon inhabit Arcadia? Is she a Fey lord, or a true dragon; furthermore, are dragons just another kind of fey, or are they unique and she just carved a place upon a land alien to her as to the protagonist? Here's where mystery works in your favor - keeping that ancient, powerful and inscrutable being shrouded in mystery.

The second thing I like is the concept of the transformation itself. The transformation is never specified - did she become a dragon-like creature, or a fey-like creature? There's a suggestion as to the latter, because of the references to gargoyles. (Interesting take, as it suggests Ceri was kept as a prize by the dragon lady, which accentuates her cruelty and how much she resembles the depiction of the Fair Folk.) However - and this is what I liked - is that it was lived. The transformation is never explained, but experienced - and that's a hard literary trick to pull out. I mean - sure, Ceri's transformation is detailed, but you can almost feel what's happening to her, and that's more powerful than simply describing how she transformed over time.

However, these are weakened by the perspective shift, which damages the flow of the story a lot. For one, it's jarring, even if there's a good cutting point between the two - Ceri loses her consciousness because of the blood loss, and then she's taken into the tower for her transformation. However, the transformation is seen from the perspective of someone else, which contrasts with the transformation itself. It's only then that we know Ceri is the human that was speaking at first, as the external narrator ties the story to what Ceri was speaking about. This externalizes the transformation, weakening the impact it can cause - rather than have someone explain what's happening to Ceri, it would be best if she explained what's happening to her.

I feel that the perspective shift could work, though. It could be done in such a way that it adds to Ceri's characterization.

Have you considered making Ceri the 3rd-person narrator, but done so in a way that she depersonalizes from herself? The trope of referring to oneself in the third person usually involves a lack of intelligence, but it can also represent a divorce from the self. When Ceri has her human nature slowly replaced with the element of air, it should come with a gradual destruction of her identity. Perhaps the dragon could refer to her as Ceri, and perhaps that isn't the protagonist's real name (or perhaps it's a pet name her family gives her? Food for thought). However you desire to work it, this change should gradually lead to the protagonist referring to herself in the third person, separating her narration from her actions. This adds a richness to the narration, as it represents how she's alienating from her previous identity.

This ties to the ending, which is - I feel - too sudden and too abrupt. For one, it changes to 1st-person narration, but the protagonist is still forever shaken by the experience. It's ambiguous in a good way - it leads the reader to think whether this was a dream or something real. This ambiguity as a twist ending is good; it urges the reader to re-read it to see if there are clues to whether that could be real or not. Perhaps a bit more ambiguity could be added in, to really hammer the idea of whether Ceri escaped the dragon lady or whether this was a whimsical dream.

And that, again, could be solidified with the gradual perspective shift. Perhaps the first-person narrator is the original Ceri, and the third-person narration is the original recognizing she's no longer herself. This play directly reinforces the end - as when she returns, she considers herself again once more, but making a mention to "my Lady" may suggest that Ceri finally reconciled with her new nature. Adding a few lines could also work - suggesting that probably Ceri knows deep down that she's still her lady's servant, and she was returned to the modern world for that one mission she needs to accomplish - which can only be done as a human. It could be worked as Ceri reconciling her two sides - her human side and her supernatural side - and accepting her fate as an agent of the dragon lady, or perhaps a conflict where Ceri reclaims her identity stolen by the dragon lady, but now she must face a supernatural side that will never abandon her.

These are just ideas, though. There's a reason why I rated this story high enough - even though I'm jarred by the perspective shift, I can see it work as a separation between the story of the human and the story of the supernal. But most importantly, it's beautiful. Stories of Fair Folk are always full of color and vivid descriptions - of haunting beauty - and these hit the spots right on. It's weird, as I'm not usually inclined towards stories of faeries (unless it's to keep them in check - I'd be the one holding a cold iron dagger just in case), but this one kept me enraptured long enough to give it a deep analysis and suggest how to improve it. And it works as a stand-alone story - Ceri doesn't need to tell her story any further after her escape, but she could, and that empowers the story. Most novels usually start as short stories, and this could be one of them!

Anyways, that's all I got to say. Happy reviewing, and may others find and love this story as much as I did.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .