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 Review #4709803 |
 | Bottles  [E] Poem of bottles in comparison to life itself.  |
| (4.5)| Hello AJblurryface Happy 23rd WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.   Quite a deep, poignant poem. I like your analogies.  Title and Description - The title is straight to the point, and fits the writing well. The description drew me in and made me want to read on. Theme/Subject Matter:- The comparison of how life can make one feel like an empty, discarded water bottle. That even a water bottle deserves to be recycled and made into something useful-- how much more should a human feel fulfilled? Originality/Creativity:- I really like the creativity and originality of this piece. Nicely done!  Emotion/Impact: - It left this reader with a strong emotional impact. I reread it a couple of times. It left me agreeing but also feeling for the author. My Suggestions - I see you have emotional for your genre. That's good. It is an emotional piece. But you should fill out your other two genres as well. Maybe: Personal, Experience, or Drama. The more you have filled out the more people will find your writing. Some people only search for certain genres. I would split your stanzas up. I think that would help the piece read more smoothly, but also with even more impact.  Sometimes life is as emptyTry: Sometimes life feels empty... The only other suggestion is you need a comma after the word, 'Oh,' in: Oh how beautiful.  My Favorite Part: -The ocean, Oh how beautiful. When the sun shines off the surface, Happiness. Yet the sun doesn't shine forever, even on the ocean. Nice! I love that!   Summary: Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I truly enjoyed it! KEEP ON WRITING ON!  Intuey   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/02/2023 @ 5:07pm EDT