Suitcase [E] What I was left with when you left with the rest of my life. |
A WDC Power Review Hi Lou-Here By His Grace . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Suitcase" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story. Overall Impression. A heartfelt and poignant look at a broken heart. I've always admired people who can work through the grief of a lost love by pouring those feels on a page. Of course I've had my share (perhaps then some) of heartaches. And while writing is a true passion for me, I'm unable to pen that ache into submission. Thanks for sharing. Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. While I seldom comment on things like grammar and punctuation in poems--often a poet breaks such rules for sake of expression--I stumbled over your final stanza while reading. I understood what you were trying to say. But I had to re-read it several times to see it. My problem was use of the word "rebuild". Your thought left me hanging. Rebuild to me signifies looking to the future. I know ... my problem. My Rating. 4.0. Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
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