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 Review #4723631 |
| A WDC Power Review Hi rodrigotfleite . I'm JACE  , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invalid Item"  . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I found your offering in the Read & Review section. I find it hard to read on a screen when you have a lot of small sized words and no spacing between paragraphs. So I almost passed on this review. I went to your Port to check out a few of your other writings, and they were written the same way.I decided to give you a few pointers that will help you here on Writing.com. Yes, I know you are new, and I hope my review will be accepted as help, and not negative. I know some thing may be hard to hear. First, smaller paragraphs are easier to read. Separate paragraphs with one extra line space. Second, add one space after a period when beginning the next sentence. Third, commas should only be used to separate or emphasize a particular phrase. They should be used sparingly. And like periods, there should be a space after each comma. The first example you wrote; the second is a suggestion: Popular and spreaded should be in second place,but I like all,heavy,soft japanese. Popular and spreaded should be in second place, but I like all heavy and soft Japanese. While I only corrected this sentence for punctuation, it made little sense as written. What do you mean by "spreaded?" Fourth, if the program you are writing in has a Spell Check, use it. If it doesn't, find a program that has it. Misspellings makes it hard to read, and if that's the case, folks will not read and give you advice how to improve.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. There are too many areas with incorrect punctuation, spelling and grammar to easily list here. May I suggest that when editing, you read your offering OUT LOUD. You'll hear problems before you'll see them.  My Rating. 2.5. Your work has great potential. You have some great story premises. Working on your structure will entice people to read your work more. Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE ** Image ID #1386062 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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