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Review #4725786
Viewing a review of:
 Summer Camp Open in new Window. [E]
A girl has summer camp stress
by Atemu12 Author Icon
Review of Summer Camp  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Atemu12,

I visited your portfolio today as a follow-up to my first visit to welcome you to WdC. I see "Summer Camp" has been reviewed twice. I am adding my thoughts. They are solely my opinions which I hope will be helpful to you.

What I liked: You have great storytelling skills. You used an inviting first sentence to get me engaged. I have never been to summer camp. The way you describe a couple of issues that come up, I can safely conclude it is not one of the top experiences of your life. I loved the line about your horse returning and nonchalantly eating hay.

Your story would be easier to read if you double-spaced between the paragraphs. The words "a long the trail" should be "along the trail."

You have a gift for writing an engaging true story. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Great job!

Write on!
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