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 Review #4726639 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| An Angel Army Review Hi Kevster  . Hello. I found your offering in the Read & Review section.I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invalid Item" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. I must admit, you DO paint a very bleak picture of the world to come. To some point I can see the arguments you've identified. And to some point I believe you've cherry-picked the most sensational ones. I agree that there are a lot of issues facing the human race in general. And I further agree that specific individuals, even groups of people, bear an inordinate share of negativism. Taking time to address each specific item you raise is beyond the scope of this review. But, I don’t for a minute believe we as a race are doomed. Tough times, perhaps; no path to redemption, nope. I will admit that I believe our government leadership seems to have lost their way. And I include any of those currently running to replace those currently elected. Unfortunately, I haven’t a solution for the problem that current human nature is manifesting. Government service is supposed to be “service” to the people, not to themselves as individuals. I don’t believe Republican OR Democrats can fix our economic issues—those stem from the greed of those super-rich who press their thumbs on the scales of equality. Democracy is our best hope. Vindication and pay-back from BOTH sides is not. I turst we all will find our way forward, and the world will become a better place.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. The following sentence is awkward to read as written. It runs on and would be better understood broken into smaller sentences. Being exposed to Propaganda, by our government, is shown profanity and nudity, and exposed to things no child should see or be around. May I suggest you re-read your piece out loud? You’ll hear syntax problems before you see them when editing.  My Rating. 4.0 .  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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