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Given: Jan 17, 2024 at 10:00am
Length: 2,050 Characters |
1,663 w/o WritingML
An Angel Army Review
Hi Shawn. Good morning. I found your offering in the Read & Review section.
I'm JACE, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Texting" .
I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.
Overall Impression. How very today of your poem. Not long after I got cell phones for my four kids some years back, I would check the usage of them. Just because....
Where I and my wife might use 30 to 50 texts per month, my middle (and very popular) daughter was texting 800 to 1000 times per month. I suppose I've "upped my texting game" these days as it is more convenient (and quieter) than calling.
I found your story a little hard to follow at first--I had to re-read it to figure out who was texting who. May I suggest you treat the texts as dialogue (which they are) but place each text in italics.
And now I'm thinking about how many texts my daughter DIDN'T send.
Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.
I mentioned a formatting issue (grammar and punctuation) above. Otherwise, I found no spelling issues.
My Rating. 4.0. An above average piece that needs a better format to really be great.
Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
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