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Review #4727858
Viewing a review of:
 The first battle Open in new Window. [13+]
Artemis' first battle - for The Lair Contest
by Beck Firing back up! Author Icon
Review of The first battle  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, Beck Firing back up! Author IconMail Icon, I am Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon, I am reviewing "The first battleOpen in new Window., because I discovered it on the "I Write in 2024Open in new Window. forum page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Artemis standing atop the knoll. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I suggest placing a blank line between the paragraphs so that the story is easier to read.

I like: My favorite part is the climax. I like this part because it showed Artemis at his best.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the action.

Write on!


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