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Given: Jan 25, 2024 at 1:10am
Length: 943 Characters |
857 w/o WritingML
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army (ASR) Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community. #1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Hallo!
I visited your portfolio because it's your WDC Anniversary. The title and cover pic attracted my attention to this poem. The brief description is quite intriguing!
I understand that this is about someone who endures hardship without letting others know of it. The aspects you bring up encompass the situation fully.
Somehow, for me, it remained about 'her', I couldn't relate personally. Maybe it would resonate more with readers who resemble the character - I'm more of a heart-on-my-sleeve type of person!
The switch from past tense to present tense tripped my reading a bit. I'm also wondering if you'd like to try this in free verse. Maybe it would help you express more if you don't have to worry about rhyming. I think it has potential to be a really lovely, inspiring piece.
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