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Review #4728474
Viewing a review of:
Winter Open in new Window. [E]
Poem I've been working on
by Joseph Author Icon
Review of Winter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


Hallo!
This one showed up on 'Read and Review'.

The title works. Maybe you'd like to look at the genres and brief description again, and update these.

I like the blue colour of the font.
The poem basically paints a bleak picture of winter. The images are evocative and the emotion comes through.

About the repeated words / phrases
I understand the repeated lines for effect.
However, I found some of the repeated words (or similar words) to be distracting. (Ice / icy, 'cold' in two different lines). I wished you had put a synonym there instead.

About the last verse
The rest of the poem is purely bleak.
You suddenly give a glimpse of a milder winter in the last line.
Somehow, this didn't feel complete.
I think the poem would have more impact if it were all-bleak, or longer with the milder aspect developed more, too.

Thanks for sharing this!
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