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 Review #4728779 |
 | Invisible Threads - Prologue  [13+] This is the prologue to Invisible Threads, the first book in The Anomaly series.  |
| (4.0)| An Angel Army Review Hi Loyd Gardner . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invisible Threads - Prologue" , that I found on the Read & Review section.I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. This is a tough subject to read about--child abuse. I guess I would have to read the first few chapters of the book that the prologue is from to understand the use of this scene as a prologue. The scene you portray seems to come in the middle of Gary's life.That said, you certainly evoke a lot of emotion here. I have a hard time thinking that someone could abuse a child ... of any age. Obviously, Mom needs help. Your descriptions were spot on as far as Mom and Gary are concerned. Obviously, there was some tension between the sisters--she noticed Gary's red face. I failed to see how the Chinese proverb helped the stage set in your Prologue. Perhaps something in the story will make this apparent. You have a lot of white space between the proverb and the beginning of your story. On the screen of my laptop, I had to scroll up quite a bit to begin reading. For a moment, I thought the proverb was the prologue. I wondered why your Intro Rating was Non-E. I saw nothing that required such a rating.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. Your writing style is easy to read. I found no obvious errors in the mechanics of your story.  My Rating. 4.0.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 01/28/2024 @ 2:58pm EST