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Review #4729069
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


Hallo!
This one showed up on 'read and review' and I'm so glad it did!

I love the poem. The lyrical tone, the imagery you evoke, the metaphors you use are all powerful and moving.

Suggestions:
There were two places where I felt you could've been a bit stronger. The rest of your similes are original, so comparing hope to a fragile flower came as a bit of a cliche. Maybe you'd like to change that ... ?

Also, the last line, 'parts'seemed to be there just to rhyme. Maybe you'd like to take another look at that?

You might want to use some WritngML - font, size, center, colour - to enhance the impact of your words.

Thanks for sharing this lovely piece!
Write On!
Thank you Kiya, for creating it, and Secret Squirrel, for gifting it to me!

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/30/2024 @ 9:09am EST
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