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Review #4729429
Viewing a review of:
 Arachnid Open in new Window. [13+]
Horror story in the Australian rainforest
by Sumojo Author Icon
Review of Arachnid  Open in new Window.
Review by Choconut Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Sumojo Author Icon,

I am happy to be reviewing you on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. [E]. This review is written for Week 5 of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window..

Please remember these are only my opinions, and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

My first thoughts: I wasn't sure how I would cope with reading this because I am massively frightened of spiders. So much so, that I can't even look at pictures of them. So I knew this would be a challenge. And it was. But I'm really glad I read it because the story is completely absorbing, and I felt like I was in that rain forest with Ben, Simon and Carol. It is really well written. More than once, I found myself shivering at your words.

Plot: Simon and Carol, on their honeymoon, decided they want to go on a hike in the heart of the 'real' rain forest. Straight away, I was asking, are you crazy? You wouldn't catch me hiking with all those bugs and snakes and spiders. I was on the edge of my seat from the start, and that is exactly where I stayed. When Simon first walked through a sticky spider's web, I shuddered. This is a clever write because everyone will know how they feel, how creepy they are.

Characters: You didn't really go into much depth with the characters. Simon and Carol were honeymooning, and suitably in love. Although you didn't show us any backstory, that was okay. Because the main point of this story is their fateful hike and the giant eight-eyed spider. Eek! Actually, the spider is the character we understand the most. It is hungry, looking for prey. And these three hikers are it. I didn't understand why Simon and Carol stayed where they were after the spider left with Ben. I know they said they didn't know where they were going, and they didn't want to disturb the spider. But, the spider knew they were there in its hunting ground. I would have decided anywhere would be better to go than there. They came across as pretty useless, really. You would think they'd have read something beforehand about hiking in the rain forest, and how to survive.

Grammar: I have a few suggestions, which I have put in a dropnote for your ease.
Grammar Suggestions ▼

What I liked: The atmosphere. We know something scary is going to happen, and we know it will be connected with a spider. This hooks us and pulls us close, and it's there that we stay until the end. This sentence, near the beginning, is fantastic: "Carpeted with mosses and ferns, the dank smell of damp earth and decaying vegetation drifted up to meet them." It is visceral, it takes your reader to this place that should be a paradise for these honeymooners. But, this description makes us know that all might not be well. Most of all, though, what I liked was the spider. I mean, it was horrible and scary and evil, but it was really well written. I found myself brushing myself down after reading this.

You wrote a fantastic horror story about a horrific creature who was very, very hungry.

Most importantly, keep writing!

Choconut


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