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Review #4733407
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Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Norman Author Icon.

I'm Jace, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. for the "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~Open in new Window. group. *Smile*

*Puzzle4*
Form. You present an eight-stanza poem with a rhyming pattern of a-b-c-b. For the most part it reads really well. I noted a couple suggestions below.

*Note1*
Overall Impression. As for your subject--while I've heard of Pickleball, I've never really watched it. I was surprised to read about the potential speed of play. There really are different strokes for different folks. *Wink*

I love your ending. A great pun just has to be appreciated.

*Exclaim*
Technical or Editorial Considerations. I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your poem.

         *Bullet* Your meter seems off to me as a reader. Perhaps:  When you first get a look at them


         *Bullet* Again, I think your meter reads better by deleting 'up.'  If you don’t stay up on your toes


*Thumbsup* Favorite Part.   Your ending.

*Star* Rating.  4.5

*Heart*
Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinions.


Reviewed by
JACE

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