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 Review #4733407 |
| Greetings, Norman  . I'm Jace, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invalid Item"  for the "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" group.   Form. You present an eight-stanza poem with a rhyming pattern of a-b-c-b. For the most part it reads really well. I noted a couple suggestions below. Overall Impression. As for your subject--while I've heard of Pickleball, I've never really watched it. I was surprised to read about the potential speed of play. There really are different strokes for different folks.  I love your ending. A great pun just has to be appreciated.  Technical or Editorial Considerations. I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your poem.  Your meter seems off to me as a reader. Perhaps: When you first get a look at them Again, I think your meter reads better by deleting 'up.' If you don’t stay up on your toes  Favorite Part. Your ending. Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinions.Reviewed by JACE  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" . My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 02/25/2024 @ 9:50am EST