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 Review #4733863 |
| (3.5)  ![A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1349548281/item_id/1893180.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image1 [#1893180]
A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]")
Hallo Satish, I visited your portfolio because your WDC anniversary is coming up. The title and brief description intrigued me so I clicked. I like the beginning, with the rays of the sun bringing hope. You kept the suspense throughout and the dialogue when their mates arrive brought a smile to my face. Suggestions: 1. WritingML - font, size, line space. 2. Check for punctuation, especially with dialogue. 3. Check for repeated words and phrases. 4. Check for 'telling' v/s 'showing'. I see this is a contest entry from some years ago. If you're planning to work on it, I'll be happy to send you more details or examples of what I mean by the above if you like! Write On! - Sonali.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/07/2024 @ 4:44am EST