%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4736216 |
 | The World's Worst Passenger  [E] Dude, this ship totally rocks!  |
| (5.0)| Hi Genipher. I'm reviewing The World's Worst Passenger for I Write 2024. Blurb: My aim with any review is to give comments and suggestions without judgement. I love to teach but I am no expert. Remember this review contains the thoughts of a single reader who recognizes that you know your writing better than anyone. Now, let's do this thing.  Impressions: I really enjoyed reading this light piece of fiction after too many days of too much overthinking! I hope this story won the Writer's Cramp for you, because I found it clever and humorous while not coming across any errors in grammar or punctuation. Suggestions: Since I can't offer you any suggestions for improvement, I thought I'd give you some reinforcement on the things I thought you did especially well. The character Xyle is a great choice for an alien in a very short story. The name is short and easy to remember and pronounce, and you give the reader just enough information about what Xyle looks like (with simple references to which tentacle he uses for different actions and his own description of never having his tentacles "slither across the surface of the earth" again) to allow the reader to fill in the gaps with their own imaginations. I just noticed that you do bring in a physical detail - the sweat on Xyle's "bulbous forehead" in the second to last paragraph. This adds subtle imagery to help set the mood without resorting to something formulaic, like, "he had a bulbous forehead that formed a sheen of sweat when he was irritated." So refreshing! Additionally, the human stow-away needs no physical description at all (or even a name!) His California Dude slang gives the reader plenty of information to go on to create whatever characterization they want to put into that role.  I think this is an underrated skill that more authors could learn to use. I know it's something I would like to do in my writing. You've given a great example of how little physical description is actually needed when you give your characters strong personality traits. Take-Away: I loved the laugh at the end of this story as you bring in what feels like an inside joke–that aliens really do experiment on humans, and it's because they're (we're) so annoying. What a great comedic sci-fi short from the perspective of the alien. Well done!Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your craft. I wish you all the best in your writing pursuits–and good luck with I Write! Of course, write on!    "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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