Hello, Lynn, and thank you for entering "The Lodestar Contest" . It makes me absolutely giddy to see an entry from you every time you post one! I'm sorry the turnout was low, but there'll be a similar round in May, and that one will be part of the Contest Challenge.

The hall was enormous, packed with people, whose muffled voices made the concrete room feel even colder..
         (Note the extra period. )
         I love this kind of opening, which brings an instant visual with at least one other sense invoked—hearing, here, with all the voices.

resembled a giant frog, although it had long legs and a tail like a lizard.
         The appearance of these people fits with the planet's name! Though he's making it sound as if the long legs are a trait it has that makes it differ from a frog while frog's are, you know, kinda known for their long back legs.

Perhaps it was “President”.
         I'm a little sad that we never found out why the crowd reacted to Adan's “Your Majesty” the way it did. (But, ah, yes, hilarious that the government assured him the translations would be right. )

Perhaps you could give us your answer now, to cement our alliance.”
         Kinda pushy for a liaison/negotiator type, isn't he? On first reading, I thought we'd find out that they were desperate to make an immediate deal, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Sure, Earth has shortages, but it sounds as if they've been dealing with them; I didn't see any evidence of anything quite immediate enough to excuse the chance one takes in possibly being pushy, rude.
         I loved that the Glarshans see gold for what it is; not a very great metal.

I’ve had several meals with the Glarshans.
         So nitpicky, but it jumped out at me: if he's had several meals with them, then why didn't he have already been through some of the reactions to forms of address he's experienced this day?

about the addition of some spices to improve the flavor.
         Right here, I thought, “Ah! Adan will trade spices for mining rights! Like, 'Let there be flavor!' ” Of course, I was also worried because, yanno, the wars over spices in our history. So I'm glad that wasn't the direction the story went.

“But, sir, they can be made into necklaces, pins, rings—“
         Since the leader says the don't use such things, it seems strange that Adan doesn't notice that after this line I've highlighted. I know Adan's not me, but I would have glanced around the room while saying this, looking for examples to point out.

         This second is where it started to give me a fairy-tale impression, with three-part quests and Goldilocks trying the bears' things and the like. The fact that it seems a given that each of these meetings will end with a meal reminds me of the original “Beauty and the Beast,” where Beauty dined with the Beast every night.

Because of these marvelous parallels, I got the impression that the Glarshans were trying to tell Adan something without telling him, by way of feeding him. Like they were trying to give him a hint in the meal itself or in the fact that the kept inviting him to eat with them.

My other thought was that maybe it was some kind of test. Maybe I was just looking for rabbit holes. This is certainly not your story's fault, but I wanted you to know where my mind was. I liked its wandering, in any case.

No indulgences whatever.
         Which made me think I'd be wrong about my theory that Adan would trade spices for the mining rights. Flavor is not utilitarian—and besides, Adan reports that the Glarshans had seconds of their glop.

Padme took the empty plates and bowls to the galley,
         It's funny because when I first read Pande's name, I said “Padme” in my head, and had the thought that if you slipped “Padme” in there, I wouldn't notice—and I didn't, on that reading, but this time I schooled my brain to see Pande's name correctly.
         Having that initial thought about Pande vs. Padme made me have to finally acknowledge that I hadn't yet “seen” a woman in this story. I'd noticed and applauded that Adan either couldn't tell or knew the Glarshans to have nonbianary genders.

Ooh, but the thought that Adan just couldn't tell the difference between the genders added a layer of amusement to the fact that he wasn't sure how to address the leader.

He knew the galley had nothing like this, only synth foods.
         It seemed a little weird to me that there was a way to bake the brownies, but also only synth foods. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like synth foods would have completely different preparation methods. (I'm just trying to help Pande out, arguing that the ingredients for brownies could be there, since the idea that Pande smuggled anything—going outside the rules—doesn't seem to mesh with his character.)

—pudding, ice cream, soda
         Lord, Adan's long game is to get them to all die of diabetes and heart disease! Then Earth gets all their metals! Give these people a mashed potato, a fruit smoothie—but on the other hand, why don't they have such things already? Maybe they don't exist on their planet.

Adan thumped his First Officer on the shoulder, who never wavered in his course.
         It didn't dawn on me, at first, that this “First Officer” was Pande, but whenti did I thought he'd already been promoted. But once I realized he hadn't, yet, I realized that Adan is called “Master,” so I don't even know what a First Officer is in their military, so Pande's rank as ensign shouldn't mean he can't be Adan's first officer. But I did want to let you know the trek my brain made in relation to all this.


I'll tell you a secret—one I'll tell all three contestants—and also anyone who reads this far into my public Lodestar reviews . I willfully forgot the prompts as soon as I could after I'd posted the contest. I can't say I completely forgot the character prompts, but I did only retain vague impressions of them.

I wanted to see if reading the stories would spring the prompts back into my mind. And Pande made me fully remember the “Works hard, works well, but most people don't notice.” prompt.

I didn't see anything that made me remember the item prompts, though, and I had a couple more stories to read, so I didn't spoil myself yet. When I finished all three, I came back to the contest list, read it, and still had no idea which one you'd used. So I did CTL-F for each word and only hit “bell,” but not in a way where there was any kind of actual bell in the story. Of course, I said “interpret any way you like,” about the prompts so you're within the rules. I am a tad disappointed to miss out on your usual creativity in incorporating that kind of thing, though.

I know we can't always whip up the jaw-dropping stories, though, and I am so very glad to have your entry—and to get to read and review it. I'm always going to be a fan of a feel-good story.

So many thanks for giving me an entertaining read for the contest! You know where to find me for questions and such!

Chy

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .