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Review #4737074
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 Step-Dad stepped away. Open in new Window. [13+]
Biological father left. Someone stepped in. He chose his gf over me.
by Sage Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

A painful and heartfelt free verse poem describing the difficulties of losing not one but two fathers to carelessness and neglect over the course of your young life. The repetition builds upon itself to reveal the loneliness of your situation, and the final lines reveal just how deeply the rift has been driven. This is simply written and memorable.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices, and also adding three relevant genres to the item. This gives your item more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. Possible genres include “Experience,” “Personal,” and “Biographical.” Title rules usually suggest capitalizing each first letter and avoiding punctuation, but that’s a minor detail. It’s a clever title.

I don’t usually have much to criticize about poetry, especially free verse. I’m terrible at measuring meter and counting syllables, and barely know the difference between a sonnet and an elegy, so I’m not qualified to point out the errors in anyone else’s formal poetry. This one needs no criticism. It reads smoothly with the feel of a journal entry, and I admire your vulnerability in publishing it here.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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