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Review #4737520
Viewing a review of:
 Gilda's Roses Open in new Window. [13+]
What do the roses hide?
by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon
Review of Gilda's Roses  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Soundtrackers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024Open in new Window..


*Penw* Positives

This was a delightfully twisted flash fiction story that gets right into the heart of things and leaves the reader with a compelling twist at the end. In only a few hundred words, you did a great job of conveying a complete story, which is not easy to do!


*Penw* Suggestions

There's an instance in the fourth paragraph where Gilda is referred to as "Golda," which I assume is a typo? Similarly, in the sixth paragraph it says that Bradly dropped "four small piles" into one of the glasses, which I assume was meant to be "pills."

While I enjoyed the twist at the end, it's a little unclear why Bradly felt the need to also kill Gilda's brother when he came calling. Earlier in the story it mentions that Gilda and Bradly last argued over ten years ago, so it's a bit curious why Bradly would feel the need to immediately commit another crime when someone comes around inquiring about his long-dead wife (presumably at that point he would have the death certificate and other established bits of story to fend off any initial inquiries). It's also doesn't make sense that he'd be worried about Mrs. Jones seeing him dig up any more of the yard if the last time he did it was ten years ago.


*Penw* Overall

It can be really difficult to tell a comprehensive story in under three hundred words, but I think you did a good job with it. There are a few areas that need to be fleshed out and developed a bit, but other than that, this was a very entertaining read. Nice work!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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