Gilda's Roses [13+] What do the roses hide? |
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2024" . Positives This was a delightfully twisted flash fiction story that gets right into the heart of things and leaves the reader with a compelling twist at the end. In only a few hundred words, you did a great job of conveying a complete story, which is not easy to do! Suggestions There's an instance in the fourth paragraph where Gilda is referred to as "Golda," which I assume is a typo? Similarly, in the sixth paragraph it says that Bradly dropped "four small piles" into one of the glasses, which I assume was meant to be "pills." While I enjoyed the twist at the end, it's a little unclear why Bradly felt the need to also kill Gilda's brother when he came calling. Earlier in the story it mentions that Gilda and Bradly last argued over ten years ago, so it's a bit curious why Bradly would feel the need to immediately commit another crime when someone comes around inquiring about his long-dead wife (presumably at that point he would have the death certificate and other established bits of story to fend off any initial inquiries). It's also doesn't make sense that he'd be worried about Mrs. Jones seeing him dig up any more of the yard if the last time he did it was ten years ago. Overall It can be really difficult to tell a comprehensive story in under three hundred words, but I think you did a good job with it. There are a few areas that need to be fleshed out and developed a bit, but other than that, this was a very entertaining read. Nice work! I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author! Respectfully, Jeff "Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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