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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4737677
Review #4737677
Viewing a review of:
The Jewel Thief Open in new Window. [13+]
Writer's Cramp, January 16 2024 (Winner) & Newbie Poetry Contest, February 2024 (Winner)
by Dave Ryan Author Icon
Review of The Jewel Thief  Open in new Window.
Review by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Dave Ryan! I'm reviewing your piece as one of the judges from the Newbie Poetry Contest.

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
Absolute laugh out loud hilarity from start to finish.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
At the time of reviewing, you don't mention anywhere if this a form. I'm being picky here - what you've presented look like a form. Maybe it's a form you invented. Maybe it isn't a form at all. As a reader, I'd be interested to know if this is something I could look up and explore, or if this is something I'd be cribbing directly from you. As a judge, we're always looking to how a piece stacks up to any form we're evaluating. With all the contests around, it's a good habit to get into including both your line (or word) count, and any form used. If you don't use a form, you can indicate "rhyme pattern "xyxyxyxy" or "no form."

Beyond that nitpick, the poem flows beautifully, and the style is wonderful. Your voice comes through loud and clear.

*Checkb*Content:
Can I insert a big, bold "LOL" here and call it a day?

You've made great use of the prompt, and put an unexpected spin on it.

There are so many fantastic lines in here, I couldn't possibly list them all. All of your asides - the unicycle only passing by on Fridays, the policeman, the cake...it was all wonderful.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I found no problems.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
What a wonderful addition to the contest. Thank you for entering.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon*Smile*

My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/18/2024 @ 3:56am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4737677