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Given: Mar 25, 2024 at 5:08pm
Length: 642 Characters |
642 w/o WritingML
This is a really good begining, it introduces the two characters fast but thoroughly. The uncle sounds mostly like a quack until we learn he isn't a tinfoil hat type but a scientist on the threshold of discovering or rediscovering a new technology.
The direct line between his experiments and ancient Egypt needs to be drawn. Did he Google the effects he was seeing or remember a pseudoscience article about Egypt or what? It doesn't matter much. I just want to see more story and find out. The next scene could be the uncle returning to his lab and telling his colleagues that he didn't have the luck they needed and he gets an update...
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