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Review #4739581
Viewing a review of:
 Outdoors is Where Adventure Lies Open in new Window. [E]
Kids need to play outside more…
by elizjohn Author Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


What a lovely poem! I'm guessing the bolded phrases are part of a prompt, how beautifully you've woven them in.

The message is great - outdoor play in this age of screen time. It evoked some nostalgia of my own childhood and playing with friends or cousins outdoors.

Just the description was nice enough, and then came the little anecdote to spice it up and bring a smile! *Smile* Those things happened too sometimes, and the nice thing was, it was all taken in one's stride. (Unlike today where it becomes a big issue among the adults.)

The title and brief description work. I'd suggest you change the last genre to 'Action / Adventure'. The rhyme / verse structure work well. Maybe some writing ML for the layout, like font, size, line space and colour.

Write On!
Dragon Sig created by Kiya gifted by Secret Squirrel! Thank you!

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/30/2024 @ 12:43am EDT
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