Hi Rose Praying for Peace .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "What's That Racket?" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

  Overall Impression. I like your story. I think it has a lot of potential to be great. But you need to work out your dialogue, both the punctuation for it and how it appears. It distracts me as a reader in several instances.

Nice characterization. However, I think Amanda should be a bit more surprised at the unusual appearance of the robot.

  Technical and Editorial Considerations. I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing here--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

          This line as written made no sense to me. I believe you need some punctuation to help clarify your meaning.  This is the third time this week when I get my hands on those mechanics only He will be able to save them!" 

          Part of the following sentence is missing the required quotation marks. Suggestion follows:  Have you never watched Star Trek? he quipped. It's called a universal translator and it is integral to my circuitry."  "Have you never watched Star Trek?" he quipped. "It's called a universal translator, and it is integral to my circuitry."

          You have a number of punctuation issues with your dialogue. Perhaps reading your story out loud will show those spots that need attention. Reading aloud ensures you read every word instead of skimming your words, as normally happens while reading silently.

          Finally, you don't need to add your copyright note at the bottom of your story. It automatically appears courtesy of WDC. If you still wish to keep it, add a line or two of space to separate it from your story.

My Rating.  3.5.  It's a good story that needs more attention to detail.

Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .