This was outstanding work. I love science fiction, and this feels like a great plot idea. I love the feeling this gives off, the quickest comparison that comes to mind is the movie "The Adjustment Bureau" (one of my all-time favourites.)

A plot like this really encourages moral dilemmas. "Is it right to ruin one person's life for the overall greater good?" "Who deserves absolute power?" and of course the big one with this type of story: "Do we really have free will?" These are hard questions to write about while still being entertaining, but you have more than achieved it so far. Those last few minutes just flew by!

So you are probably wondering, why did I rate this 4 stars instead of 5. Simple, and it's really nitpicky, but the plot feels too progressed right at the start. I feel like this short story kind of just throws you right into the narrative without much time to get on your feet through detailed exposition. That's not to say you did a bad job at exposition, just that there wasn't quite enough focus on it considering this is supposed to be the very beginning of the story.

What I would have done is start out by putting Will on a more routine mission first. This would give the reader a chance to understand the idea of the story a bit better before revealing the important plot point of the agency desiring this scientist's death for some reason. Then, the story would move into the part you did here, although maybe it itself a bit slower. You don't need to rush this, it's a very interesting idea and I think with more complex ideas like this, slower pacing is the way to go. Detail Will's inner conflict, and if your plan with this story is to play it out like a mystery, then maybe add subtle clues here and there as to why the organization desires this.

I almost feel bad about only giving this 4 stars because of how much I like the idea, but all this story really needs is a slower overall pace. The whole story doesn't have to be that way, just the beginning would be much easier to digest I think if it was taken slower. Congrats, I am definitely following this project to see what else comes of it. I can sense this being a really, really top-notch novel with consistent work put in. Enjoy some gift points and please keep working on it!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .