Title of Story: Whispers of a Ghost: A Hunting Tale
Name of Author: Ifunanya

Hello, I found your story in Browse by Type under Mystery. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression: I think you have a great storyline and could do so much with it. You could explore your setting more and introduce the house as a character. Is your house an old gothic house? Is the setting in the hills surrounded by trees to give the appearance of a thick forest? This dramatically builds the feeling of eerieness.

Scene/Setting: This feels shallow to me. It would be awesome if you could use more description of the town, the townspeople, and the old house. Make your word choice, time, place, and other setting characteristics work together.

Grammer/Spelling/Punctuation: I saw no issues in this area except for the title. You wrote Hunting. I think you meant Haunting. Forgive me if I am wrong.

Characters: I only met Sarah. Townspeople and Ghosts
were mentioned, but they need to be fleshed out more.

Style/Tone: Try using more figurative language and less big words.

Suggestions: Don't break it down into small writings for a chapter. Use figurative language; let us see who Sarah is. Who were ghosts? Let us see why the townspeople avoided the house like the plague. Did something happen there?

Personal Opinion: You have the start and makings for a great story. With just a few additions and changes, I think it would be awesome.

Kristina

The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer, and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Kristina





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .