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 Review #4740889 |
 | Aura Of Authority  [E] Cool lake waters, hot beach sand, and a powerful red whistle.  |
| (5.0)| Hallo foxtale ! I will be reviewing your work "Aura Of Authority" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: This is a story about a father's recollection of a red whistle left behind by his daughter who is now in college. The whistle evokes memories of her struggles to become a lifeguard and the pride she felt when she finally achieved her goal. Pluses:Every once in a while, you come across a story that just puts a smile on your face from start to finish, and this was one such story. I think your writing style is succint and 'easy-on-the-eye'. From the note at the bottom of the story, and a quick browse of your portfolio, you're already an established writer with published works to your name. Congratulations! Back to your story, though, where you've managed to draw the reader into the life once lived with Melanie. You make her real to us, and we are able to go through her trials and tribulations. From the description of the garishly outfitted antique dress form that stood guard at the landing of the stairway, we can already tell what kind of a girl Melanie is. She comes across as a young woman who was filled with school spirit, loved fashion and enjoyed dancing. Yet, there was one thing that seemed to hold her back and that was her petite figure. It might be something most girls would love to have as a body type, but your daughter had bigger goals and this involved becoming a lifeguard; a job that unfortunately, she got passed on several times because she didn't fit the conventional body type. You tell of the family's disappointment when she was not picked the first time, and one might have expected her to give up, but instead she becomes even more determined to study and work harder. She is able to get her First Aid and CPR certificates and even does her 'time' teaching swimming lessons for a while. Does she grumble about the job? Nope. She puts in a 110% while still keeping her eyes on the prize. When she finally gets her reward and is given a summer lifeguard assignment at a lake, we the readers cheer as well and applaud her undauntable spirit. However, it's the tale she recounts to the family about her first attempt at breaking up a fight that's rounds up this story with unexpected humor. Thinking those big boys had actually been afraid of her stomping up to them, while blowing her whistle, might have scared them into submission, it was actually the park patrolman standing silently behind her responsible for their behaviour! Ah, so she didn't prove to be the big baddie, but it was fun for everyone involved including the patrolman who praised her for being brave. In a way, I think this story can be a blueprint and inspiration to those who might find themselves at a disadvantage or feel they might never be able to achieve their goals. I feel like Melanie's spirit is just what's needed to give them that extra motivation to never give up. Suggestions:I can offer no suggestions to this as it was a well-written story.    Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale with us. It seems you've not been online in a while, but if you do happen to stumble upon this review, please let us know how Melanie is doing these days and if you even still have that whistle around.  Keep on writing!  Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You last responded to this review 04/10/2024 @ 2:03pm EDT