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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740966
Review #4740966
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The Firemen  [E]
A band has an identity crisis...
by Amethyst Angel🍂🧡
Review of The Firemen  
Review by Sox and Sandals
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a great story. It follows the prompt well, but for me the hopping around from one point of view to the other was a little jarring. I don't expect that kind of thing in a short story. It really didn't seem to give either character the platform they needed to be fully developed. I would really like to see how it would read if you stuck to one character's point of view through the story and built the character of the other character through the thoughts and impressions of him and the way they change through the story. To me the main character, or at least the band "leader" is a real jerk who doesn't want to do what is necessary for the band to have success. The drummer has good valid suggestions to improve the band but he gets shouted down. With the point of view split between the two the characters have equal weight in the story and it is a little confusing which one is the supporting character the prompt requires. I think it should have been all from the point of view of the leader.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/02/2024 @ 4:04pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740966