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 Review #4740989 |
 | The Sun Won't Shine  [] Wishful thinking.  |
| Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Greetings Lukas !I am currently reviewing as part of the tasks set by the "Game of Thrones" . This day marks another year of your stay with us here at Writing.com and I am more than happy to know that you've reached this far. Here's to more years of Writing and Reviewing!  Happy 13th Account Anniversary to you! To celebrate your special day, I am giving your this in-depth review. In this review, I mainly focus on the positives of your piece and I may point some Areas for Improvement if found any. Without much a do, here are the things I noticed after delving deeper into the contents: Themes Unrequited love: The poem's central theme is intense heartbreak stemming from a love that wasn't returned. The speaker grapples with the pain of longing for someone unavailable. Bitterness and Resentment: There's a strong undercurrent of hurt and anger throughout the poem. The speaker blames the beloved for breaking their heart ("mashed it like it was nothing") and extends this pain onto all romantic partners ("That's what they do"). Desperation and Acceptance: The poem reveals a struggle between desperation ("I wanted you, I needed you") and a forced attempt at acceptance ("I love you enough to let you go"). Structure Conversational Style: The poem takes on a very direct, informal tone. It reads almost like a heartbroken monologue or stream of consciousness, making it emotionally relatable. Repetition: Phrases like "That's what they do" and "I love you" are repeated, emphasizing the speaker's fixation on their hurt and their lingering feelings. Metaphor: The final lines use the metaphor of the "sun won't shine anymore" to portray the depth of the speaker's despair in losing this love. Emotional Impact Raw and relatable: The poem effectively captures the raw pain of heartbreak and unrequited feelings. The conversational tone and simple language enhance its emotional immediacy. Sense of Cyclical Pain: The ending lines evoke a sense of a continuous cycle. The speaker wishes not to see the beloved but knows they inevitably will, suggesting their pain will continue for some time. Areas for Potential Improvement Overly simplistic view on love: The bitterness towards the beloved and the generalization that "that's what they do" can come across as a rather immature understanding of complex romantic relationships. Some Clichés: Phrases like "stomp on my heart" could be replaced with more original imagery to freshen the poem's impact. Overall "The Sun Won't Shine" is a heartfelt poem that effectively communicates the rawness of heartbreak experienced from unrequited love. Its conversational tone and authentic emotional expression make it highly relatable for anyone who has experienced a similar pain. With some minor tweaks to avoid clichés and overly simplistic views on relationships, the poem could be even more impactful. Thank you for the wonderful read. Write on! Best regards, Gervic    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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