Happy account anniversary!

As someone who psychologically hates needles and physically does poorly during bloodwork, I have to say that this poem is very relatable! I was honestly a little nervous for this one because I find descriptions of needles and bloodwork to often be too much for me, but I've tried not to let this bias taint my review of your work in any way!

I really liked how visceral many of the descriptions are. Opening on shaking and a racing heart really paints a picture. I love that you engaged all the senses, capturing the smells, the pains and discomforts, the sounds, it all really brings the scenario to life. Honestly, some of this was nauseating to read, and I mean that as a compliment because it means you really captured the experience of getting a blood test done. I also really enjoyed your use of dashes, which I personally think is an underrated poetry punctuation.

I do have a couple of things that I'd like to suggest you consider to help gussy it up a little. The tourniquet is taut, not taught, which is an easy slip to make. I noticed that your rhyming here isn't very consistent. I think poetry can be great whether it rhymes or not, but you seem to switch back and forth between rhyming and not rhyming, and I think it would be better if there were consistency with this. My final thing to note in this regard is honestly a matter of taste more than anything, but I really didn't care for the line "This is no fun and I'm going to blow chunks." It's the expression of blowing chunks that just doesn't work for me personally, not in a serious poem (a comedic poem maybe). Obviously this is a matter of taste, and I am sure there are people who would love that line. My own feedback would include altering the line to reflect nausea in a way that's descriptive without being so colloquial to fit the tone of the poem a little better.

Overall, this is a really solid poem about a medical experience that so many of us struggle with. It's a great look into that physical and psychological discomfort that really captures the experience. I hope to read more of your poetry in the future!


Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



"Game of Thrones" 

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .