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 Review #4741069 |
 |  | Relief  [E] They're finally safe.  |
| Hello Auri Johnson! This review is given on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . Happy Anniversary! I hope to see you around more in the halls of WDC! This piece is about a person (persons?) fighting for peace, relief, and sanity. They've been haunted for years. Your writing showed their exasperating fight for some normalcy. How disrupted their lives were with feeling like they always had to check their surroundings for danger.You did a good job listing the excessive actions they had to go through in a single day. Their frustrations come through nicely, as they try new medicine after new medicine, in the hope, it will bring them relief from their fear. I read through this a couple of times, and I'm still not positive if 'they' is only one person with multiple personalities, or if it's actually two people, possibly twins. A sentence or two to help make this clear will help make the writing stronger. I'd fill in all three genre categories. It helps others find your writing. Many people put certain genres in the search bar looking for pieces to read. I noticed they were already finding some peace and relief from the haunting before they had tried the last new medicine. If the medicine they were on was already giving them relief, why would they need a new one? I do have a few suggestions below. Please use or discard them as you see fit.  this of course,this, of course,  therapy, been therapy, and been  near endlessnear-endless  much neededmuch-needed  well deservedwell-deserved  The relief almost The relief was almost The last three sentences need capitalization. Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.  Intuey"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/21/2024 @ 1:09pm EDT