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 Review #4741078 |
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| Hello W.P. Gerace! This review is given on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . Happy WDC Anniversary! I hope to see you around the halls of WDC more! This poor woman thought she had finally gotten away from her worst nightmare. A haunting from the one she called, 'Shadowman'. The fear, frustration, and angst come through strongly in your words.The setting is nicely done and enabled me to envision each scene as I read. When she moved and had been free of the Shadowman for years, then her mom sent her the doll, and the Shadowman suddenly came back, I wanted to scream at her through the screen, "It's the DOLL! Throw the doll away!" But sadly, she didn't listen, and it was then too late.  I do have a few suggestions below. Please use or discard them as you see fit.  her breathing rapidlyThat sentence reads a bit awkwardly. I think it would sound better as, "her breathing rapid,  Elm Street. She knew it.Consider deleting "She knew it." as you already used this phrase a few tines above. It's a bit repetitive.  fight him to do anything, Consider changing the above to "fight him from being able to do anything," or "fight him to keep him from doing anything,", or "fight him, to be able to do anything!" Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.  drain her, things you didn’t see."When you play the game of thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 5:23pm EDT