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 Review #4741093 |
 | Djinn in the Box  [ASR] Jake and Lauren buy a house that's quaint, but what they find in the attic ain't.  |
| Hello IdaLin! This review is given on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . Happy Anniversary! I look forward to seeing you in the halls of WDC! Well-written story of a couple who buy a new house, only to be surprised to find they are not alone.Your story has a nice opening that kept me interested, and the plot urged me to read on. Your ending was strong and unexpected. A nice twist to the story. Well done!  Your writing style on the setting was vivid. I could easily envision each scene as I read. Your title drew me in and your description is perfect for the story, and made me want to read on! You write the relationship between husband and wife really well. I found their conversations relaxed and realistic. I do have a few suggestions below. Please use or discard them as you see fit.  streets and stopping in little shops and streets, stopping in little shops, and  To Lauren and Jake it looked inviting, and warm and friendly.To Lauren and Jake, it looked inviting, warm, and friendly.  she said, and then laughed.She said, and swatted No comma needed after 'said'.  well maintainedwell-maintained  well-appointed,No comma needed  eaves.” Lauren said morning.” Jake said Commas are needed, instead of periods. *booksopen* quarter inch band of gold, quarter-inch band of gold (no comma)  They'd move everyhingeverything} I hope the suggestions help. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed it.  Intuey"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/05/2024 @ 11:39am EDT