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Review #4741181
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 STRAWBERRY Open in new Window. [E]
Susie's human adventure at the park
by Magnolia Author Icon
Review of STRAWBERRY  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Game of Thrones Open in new Window. (13+)
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#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

 
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The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos

Happy WDC Anniversary!

Hi Magnolia

My name is Megan, one of the sly foxes.

Title: Strawberry

First Impression: A little girl feeding ducks. Robots. Nanny Bot. A story with robots draws the reader in. This peeked my interest. I had to check this out and I was curious. Strawberry. I wondered how a strawberry would play into this story. I stepped in and started reading. I figured this would be a good story. I am here.

What needs your attention: Double space when you start a new line of dialogue so you don't run words and sentences into each other. The cone is $1,20. Shouldn't this be $1.20? Harpie Doll Nannie Bot. Is this another Nanny of the little girl Susie or the same Nannie? Why did the nanny turn into strawberry ice cream?

What part I liked best: Nanny Bot turned into strawberry ice cream. The little girl was eating chocolate ice cream and got all messy. The little girl feeding the ducks is cute.

Overall Impression: Was this outer space? Is this story on earth? Was it a crime to eat chocolate instead of strawberry? Well rounded characters and good dialogue. This holds the reader's interest. I was happy to read this.

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