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Review #4741318
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 Words That Hurt Open in new Window. [E]
Words spoken in haste hurt so much
by Barbieistheone Author Icon
Review of Words That Hurt  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
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#1994693 by Gaby Author IconMail Icon
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Hi! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: Words that Hurt
First Impression: The rhyme and rhythm of this piece of poetry flows smoothly. It is not forced at all. Your first line is sharp and evocative. A heart in splinters and cut by words. Yes, words may be weapons that wound. Words always leave a mark. They are residual and may never be erased or forgotten. They are often carelessly flung and aimed at others with devastating results.
What needs your attention: In a few lines of your stanza the rhythm changes slightly with one extra or one less beat, but I'm not sure this matters. Read out loud this poem just works. It is not jarring at all. I have no criticisms or suggestions.
What part I liked best: You use your words sparingly, but with intent. Each one makes sense. The emotion is strong and underlined with your five or six beat phrases. ( Okay, occasionally the beat is four.) There's no need to expel any more emphasis or drama with superfluous words. The result is a beautiful starkness. It's as if the words stab, in and out, quickly, efficiently. They strike with optimum force. The first stanza is powerful and introduces the despair, the anguish, the savagery of words spoken in haste. "They cut to my core." What is your defence? You retreat into seething silence.
Overall Impression: This is an eloquent poem that cries to the hurt of an argument or the cruelty of careless comments. The narrator expresses regret and confusion at not defending him/herself.
Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. ( 1756 characters)
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