\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741510
Review #4741510
Viewing a review of:
 
Image Protector
Conduct Becoming Open in new Window. [13+]
Heavenly help.
by Don Two Author Icon
Review of Conduct Becoming  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
Image Protector
FORUM
Game of Thrones Open in new Window. (13+)
Closed until further notice...
#456789 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

 
Image Protector
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos Open in new Window. (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm Author IconMail Icon

A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos

Hi Don, I am Megan, one of the sly foxes.

Title: Conduct Becoming

First Impression: I had a guy in high school who bullied me and others. I had to read this hoping this guy would get what was coming to him for being a jerk. I was drawn to this and wanted to read this. It didn't disappoint. He traveled on a tram a lot so I knew he was bound to get more then he bargained for. I read on.

What needs your attention: A light changed him. I was thinking maybe a Nun would swat him and I was hoping for that. Maybe this could be considered along with the light. Otherwise, everything in this poem was handled.

What part I liked best: Graham singing I'm bad. The Nun and priest keeping their eye on him. The light. Maybe the light was from God and it went through the bully. The point was played out and the bully learned a lesson.

Overall Impression: Looks like this was fun to write. The rhyme pattern worked out well. I wish the bully I knew would have learned a lesson. A good style and easy to follow. Entertaining. A good presentation.

The views and opinions are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore do not reflect necessarily to the activity group and/ or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for letting me review your work. It has been my pleasure.

My GOT Fox Image
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741510