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Review #4741565
Viewing a review of:
 Errands  Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about errands
by Detective Author Icon
Review of Errands  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Martell image for G.o.T.

This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review in association with the
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


Hello Detective Author Icon,

The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

This is review two of three from the package you won at "Mad Hatter's Tea Party " Open in new Window..

*Shield1* First Impression:

I had a feeling this poem would be relatable because we've all got errands to run, don't we?

*Shield1* Favorite Part(s):

This, no doubt, was my favorite part:

That bitter pill came
When the phone rang
To add more errands to the list
Even though the caller could
Easily do those new errands

Why? Because it happens to me ALL the time! LOL.

*Shield1* Suggestions:

And then all the errands are done
Consider this modification: And then, when all the errands are done

Everything looks great. Spelling, etc; I noticed no issues.

One tip I can offer is to always include your line count with poetry and word count with stories. It's a good habit to get into because some contests and activities require it. It would be a shame to get disqualified for not having that.

Something to help you readers is to include the contest link a piece is written for, along with the prompt. Clearly, I can see this was for a contest because you have certain words bolded. When we enter the contest info, reviewers can give feedback on how well we used the prompt. And, for the record, I like the way you used these prompt words!

Keep writing!!!

Thank you for sharing your work.
Kindest Regards,
Lilli, House Martell





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