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Review #4741677
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Rated: | (3.5)
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Hi Jacky Author Icon,
My name is Carly and I am doing this review because I challenging myself to do at least one review a day. I clicked on the read and review and your short piece popped up.

I have just read your short piece "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
This was cute wee piece. Interesting characters. It made me smile.


Characters:
Gwen and Basie are waiting and watching to see if the spell Gwen bought from Eldrith is working on Juno.

Eldrith has the hots for Juno.


Setting:
Gwen and Basie are in Gwen's house watching Juno who is out on the swing.


Plot:
Gwen bought a spell to get rid of Juno from her swing. Why she needs to get rid of him is unclear.

The spell she bought is from Eldrith who is interested in Juno romantically. Apparently Eldrith sold her a spell, but not to get rid of Juno. The spell is probably to get Juno to fall for Eldrith.

Gwen decides that since she has been duped she will at least cast a spell to change Juno into a rat.

I am curious as to why she needed to buy the spell from Eldrith in the first place - if she was already able to turn Juno into a rat herself. And why a rat?


Favourite Part:
I like the explanation of why Eldrith would sell her that kind of spell in the first place.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues.


Additional Comments:
I am not sure what the contest is or what the word count is supposed to be at. I would have liked a bit more information as to why Gwen wants Juno gone and what kind of trouble he's been causing.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

signature for the Paper Doll Gang.



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