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Review #4741919
Viewing a review of:
 
Spices, Jerk, and Chili  Open in new Window. [E]
Junior is happy enough to let Derice lead, but when it comes to chili...
by StephBee Author Icon
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




*PenB* First Impressions:

I read another one of your stories recently, and I liked both of them. I’m guessing this is an entry for the official contest as well, and you did a good job with the prompt. It’s a lighthearted story and I’m glad it wasn’t one of those where life-long friends fell out over some issue or other, or where something terrible happened. Sometimes, a happy story like this one is just perfect. That’s not to say that the characters didn’t have their difficulties in this tale, but it didn’t result in any drama between them.

I felt I got to know the characters quite well. You showed their personalities and told the readers enough about their background to understand who they were. They both ended up with a nice partner who suited them - I liked how it was immediately obvious that Suzie would be the one for Junior, as soon as she mentioned that she loved chili. I was also impressed with Derice who didn’t want to marry Barbie before he was able to provide for her (not that women need to be provided for, but this wasn’t the kind of story to get hung up about things like that. He didn’t mean it in a derogatory way, anyway.)


*PenG* Suggestions:

My review is probably a little late as you can’t edit this story until the contest is judged, but here are a few suggestions anyway:

It was a nice compliment to Derice’s jerk
You’re talking about sourdough being a nice accompaniment, so it should be “complement”.

“Barbie loves you poor or not.”
You need a comma after “you”.

All the locals where surprised.
“were.”


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

This was a perfect story to read at the end of a busy day. I enjoyed the read, and I hope your entry does well in the contest!




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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/04/2024 @ 7:01pm EDT
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